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One of my foreign friends told me that a friend came into Trinidad this past week and he sent her a text to say that he just landed in the “Red Light District”. She did not know what he meant, and did not know that we had a “Red Light District” in Trinidad. I had to explain.
As I have mentioned on many occasions before, the father of modern day psychology, Sigmund Freud, posited that culture nurtures conscience, because culture sets downs the rules of our behaviour, thoughts and beliefs: what we say, do, do not do, how we dress, what we eat, and what kind of houses we live in, rules everything about our existence. Now parents, you have to explain to your children what and where is a red light district. Here is another challenge for you among so many that already exist.
I “googled”. I know that many adolescents who are techno-savvy can “google” and find out what it is. Parents, you better “google”, too. Your ten and under-aged children will ask and I know that confusion will reign. You will have to find the words. Maybe, you can say “that is a place where there are no children, it is a place for adults only and as you grow older we will have a discussion about this”.
For your teenagers who should know by now about the dangers of sexual activity, you will have to introduce them to new words. prostitute and prostitution. Discuss careers and how some people earn their living and how some people spend what they earned, and the reasons for this choice. You can also use this opportunity to discuss with them the need to pay more attention in class, improve their grades and focus on a brighter future, abstinence, the fact that other people take advantage of others who are vulnerable.
Parents, I really feel your pain with this one. I also do hope that this piece of music is not played at any of our children’s Carnival events. I can only hope. Do any of these DJs really care? They keep saying “we have to give the people what they want, so allyuh deal with that”. We are in a protection-of-children mode these days, and all citizens should be on board with this, even our culture messengers. I chose not to use the v-word which rhymes with “culture”.
A New Type of Criminal Is Emerging.
By Linda E. Edwards.
The Laventille Hills east Port of Spain area earned a reputation, deservedly or not, for high crime against persons, drug involvement, gangs, knife fights and shootings and so on, and for years, army and police units have focused on east Port of Spain in an attempt to stamp out “crime”. People are still dying there at a high rate, higher than the norm for the country. Central however, is emerging as the SEX crime capital of the country, for crimes against children.
Going just a bit further back, we had Amy Anamuthodo and Sean Luke, and a bit further back still, the five year old child who was being used as a prostitute by men in the village, Central again.
I want to go back to the 1980’s when the video “Shattered Lives” was made. That movie, and its glaring light on child sexual abuse, came about as the result of a girl in Central committing suicide because of repeated sexual assault by her father, and she not having anywhere to turn. I remember well the concern on the faces of businessmen who attended the initial meetings of the project. They were very uncomfortable with the situation, and recognized that something had to be done. There was a sense of urgency about them.
The committee had talked of getting police officers sensitized to this sort of crime, of working closely – police, social workers and the business community to do something about these horrendous cases. Some of that may be seen now in police and judges responses to reports of these crimes.
The businessman charged in the recent ‘father and son’ case of abuse against a relative must have been in his early twenties, and his young son a mere tot when that video was made.
Something has happened to this place, something that has eroded the societal values that most people used to subscribe to. We seem to have gone from aberration to something closer to standard procedure. A frightening situation if ever there was one. In Central, the number of mandirs, temples and churches seem almost to rival the number of houses. Yet, the morality of no sexual tampering with your daughters (The Shattered Lives Case), and not having intimate relations with children seem to stand entirely outside the religious experience.
It is troubling also, that in this section of the country, people seem to know what is going on, and hardly do anything about it, until a glaring case that cannot be ignored hits the headlines. Central is also the place where the Santa Maria Hotel is operated. The owner was charged with bringing in prostitutes from Venezuela for the satisfaction of his customers. The women were just deported. All the men who patronize the place must have known this. Such a place can adversely affect the moral climate of the whole area.
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She adds: “I signed up to an adult website and then heard about Tinder through.
another escort. I didn’t realise it attracted guys who were willing to pay.
“Studying isn’t cheap so I decided to take up escorting part-time as a quick.
and easy way to subsidise my course.
“I make it clear that I am an escort very quickly when communicating with men.
on Tinder and very few have been shocked enough to stop contact.
“Many say that they have never paid for sex before, but when I tell them my.
prices they are often still interested.”
Lilly’s Tinder profile strapline describes her as a “nice friendly girl who is.
looking for some fun”. It adds: “If you want to spend hot time together, you.
found the right person.”
She says: “I figured somewhere within my description of myself guys would.
realise I was willing to provide services, as opposed to dating for free.
“Sure enough, within just a few minutes of setting up my profile, I had guys.
asking whether I’d be willing to meet up.
“I didn’t mess around, I just told them straight that I didn’t date for free.
and the next day I had my first paying client.
“If the guy wants something kinky, I charge more. I get over ?1,000 for.
overnight bookings and up to ?3,000 for weekends away.
“If someone wants me to go to their house or hotel, it’s ?130.”
One bonus of using Tinder, Lilly says, is that because it grabs information.
from Facebook, the app will tell her if she shares any mutual friends with a.
potential client – helping to avoid awkward situations.
She explains: “Most guys just want some no strings adult fun and book me for.
“Tinder is really handy for this because it sources singles who live near you,
so guys don’t have to travel far to come and meet me for a short period of.
time. When I book in clients through the adult site they’re normally married.
and I feel really bad for their wives.
“That’s not nice, so I try to stick to Tinder.”
But Lilly, from Gatwick, West Sussex, admits that using the app to find.
punters has brought some odd people into her bed.
She adds: “One guy arrived with a knife and a bin bag and asked if he could.
cut me up and put my body parts in the bag.
“Thankfully he left quietly when I insisted he made a swift exit.
“Some guys arrive with drugs on them, in which case I politely ask them to.
“Another client complained he hadn’t had his full hour’s worth and threatened.
to phone his mum. I just had to laugh.” Despite those encounters, Lilly says.
she has met some “really great guys” using Tinder, but she insists that she.
is not yet ready to find herself a steady relationship.
She says: “If I were to settle down and meet a proper boyfriend on a dating.
site I’d get bored within a few weeks and I’d want to start playing the.
field and experimenting again.
“The guys that come to see me know exactly what they’re getting and leave.
satisfied, that’s more than most men can say after a Tinder date.”
Tinder did not respond to our requests for a comment.
‘I get what I want and no dates’
STUDENT Mark, 22, has been a prolific Tinder user since splitting with his.
last girlfriend earlier this year — and has also hooked up with more than.
one prostitute he met through the app.
He says: “I’ve not been interested in relationships since my last girlfriend.
dumped me. I did try some dating sites, but I had no success.
“One of my best pals told me about Tinder and I found it much more useful.
right from the start. It was light-hearted, welcoming and also very.
addictive. I found myself browsing all night when I first joined.
“I’ve met up with a few girls from Tinder so far, but the first experience was.
a wee bit awkward as the girl I’d been chatting to was an escort.
“When I first met her online she was very friendly and fun-loving, and there.
was a real sexual spark between us.
“We told each other all about ourselves, exchanged numbers and then she.
mentioned that she was an escort. Just like that.
“At first I was so gutted, but on the other hand I had wanted to try new.
things. That was part of the reason I joined the site in the first place.
“I didn’t want to visit prostitutes, so meeting someone I knew more about but.
still strictly for ‘business’ was a perfect option for me — and it was one.
of the most monumental sexual experiences I’ve ever had.
I enjoyed my time with her so much I have continued to see her whenever I can,
normally once a month. We keep in touch on a weekly basis and she sends me.
photos from her holidays.
“There is another escort I met on Tinder who I see every so often. But I.
wouldn’t want to visit more than two girls at any one time because even.
though I’m paying for their services, I do feel you develop a relationship.
“I’d say I’ve spent almost ?2,000 on hookers so far, but I don’t mind as I.
know I’ll get what I want and there are no boring dates or awkward silences.”
Prostitution in China.
An example of business card you may get walking down Nanjing Road, Shanghai.
In Shanghai there are so many prostitutes that I got curious and I did some researches about prostitution in China. One of best source of information on the topics is Red Lights: The Lives of Sex Workers in Postsocialist China.
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A turbaned Shiite cleric who issues wedding permits from a street-side counter in Sadr City says he encourages permanent marriages but gives the OK for pleasure marriages when there are “special reasons.” The cleric, Sayid Kareem As-Sayid Abdullah Al-Mousawi, says he grants licenses for muta’a in cases where the woman is widowed or divorced, or for single women who have approval from their fathers.
Shiites, Sunnis split.
“Clerics who blessed them were hounded by security during the previous regime,” he says. “I can assure you, these (muta’a) marriages are flourishing in (Shiite cities) Najaf, Karbala and Kadhamiya in an amazing way. There are a lot of hotels (patronized) by Shiites who approve of such marriages.”
Shiites and Sunnis both permit men to take more than one permanent wife, but the rival branches of Islam are deeply split over pleasure marriages.
Most Shiite scholars today consider it halal, or religiously legal. Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, the highest religious authority in Shiite Islam, sets conditions and obligations for muta’a on his Web site. (“A woman with whom temporary marriage is contracted is not entitled to share the conjugal bed of her husband and does not inherit from him . “)
Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari and other Shiite lawmakers have said they want Iraq’s new constitution to use the sharia, or Islamic law, as its basis. That could give muta’a formal legal protection. Sunni Arabs and Kurds, who are mainly Sunni, oppose the idea. But the practice is growing among Sunnis and Shiites alike.
Sunni scholars fear that giving official sanction to pleasure marriages — many of which are only verbal agreements between the couple — are little more than legalized prostitution that could lead to a collapse of moral values, especially among young people.
“We have reports about one-hour pleasure marriages that are flourishing among students,” says Sheik Ali Al-Mashhadani, a Sunni imam at the Ibn Taimiya mosque in Baghdad. “I’m advising parents to watch their sons very carefully, particularly those who are in the colleges and universities.”
Short-term marriages were considered idolatry by Saddam’s ruling Baath Party in the 1970s and ’80s, says Kamal Hamdul, president of the Iraqi Bar Association. Muta’a were punishable by fines or prison, he says. Couples took the practice underground, meeting in out-of-the-way apartments and hotels — and rarely telling even family members.
Pleasure marriages began to resurface after the fall of Baghdad in 2003. One reason is that Shiites, 60% of Iraq’s population, have a greater ability to shape social mores than they did under Saddam, a Sunni Arab whose top aides were also Sunnis.
Payments to women vary.
A woman agreeing to a pleasure marriage that involves a one-time encounter might be able to count on about $100. For a muta’a that runs longer, she might be paid $200 a month, though the amounts vary widely and can depend on whether she has children.
Zeinab Ahmed, 31, lost her husband in a car accident five years ago. She says she has considered entering into a muta’a contract with a man, but the stigma attached has kept her from doing so.
“All my friends who have done this have told me they got married in this way just to meet their sexual desires,” Ahmed says, “but later on they started to love that man, and he does not accept to get married permanently. . Most of the men, at the end of the contract, they feel contempt towards the woman.”
Contracts for pleasure marriage strongly favor men.
Married women can’t enter a muta’a, although a married man can. Men can void the contract at any time; women don’t have that option unless it’s negotiated at the outset. The couple agrees not to have children. A woman who unintentionally gets pregnant can have an abortion but must then pay a fine to a cleric.
Women’s rights activists are concerned. Salama Al-Khafaji, a Shiite lawmaker who supports the concept of sharia law but advocates for women’s rights, calls the re-emergence of muta’a an “unhealthy phenomenon.”
With the right intentions, she says, muta’a can serve the noble purpose of helping divorced and widowed women. But too many men are using temporary marriages to exploit women for sex, she says. Her solution is to reinforce the importance of permanent marriages with work programs for newlywed couples and education campaigns.
“A woman who practices muta’a does not usually feel comfortable about it,” Al-Khafaji says. “People these days are creating excuses to practice these acts.”
Al-Mousawi, the Shiite cleric, says the practice of pleasure marriages is open to abuse and misinterpretation. He says he is particularly troubled by kiss-and-tell men. “After they’ve finished with the woman, they’ve told their friends about her beauty and given a description of her body, which is something absolutely unacceptable in Islam,” he says.
Al-Zaidi, the Sadr City lawyer, says his motivations are spiritual. In 2002, he says he persuaded a Sunni widow to enter into a one-year muta’a with him, even though at first she refused.
To him, pleasure marriages are legitimate in God’s eyes. They bring responsibility and formality to what would otherwise be squalid and sinful, he says. “There is a noble goal in this kind of marriage,” says Al-Zaidi, still married to his first wife and has five children. “It’s to eradicate moral corruption.”
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